Well, we can see a lot of pictures in our daily life. But those pictures are the same as the reality? I don’t agree that because we have the most advanced technology on digital products.
There are two ways to use a camera. One is good and the other is bad. The good way is cameras can help us record the beautiful thing, it can also help us remember the unforgettable thing forever. However, the bad way is there are many people using the photo retouching to pretend the true appearance of themselves. They not only use the photo to cheat other people on the Internet but also use it to make money. I think it is very immoral.
Finally, no matter what we look like. We should have confidence in ourselves, because everyone is unique. And the camera never lies, right? “Nature is Beauty.” I think we should always keep that in mind.
2010年3月31日 星期三
journal 2
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Hi Robert,
回覆刪除This is a simple but well-organized piece of writing. You did a good job.
Yet, no matter how good your writing is, a rigorous teacher like me can always find some mistakes in your work. Here are a few found by me. Please revise them.
1. But those pictures are the same with the reality?
the same不是加with
2. I don’t think so. Because we have the most advanced technology of the digital products.
請把of the改成 --
3. There are two ways of camera.
這一句不完整，請完整寫出來 (If you don't get it, ask me.)
4. One is good and another is bad.
another不對, 你已限定兩個，所以該用哪一個字(或片語)呢?
5. Good way is camera can help us record the beautiful thing, it can help is remember the unforgettable thing forever.
第一、way是可數名詞，請修改
第二、camera也是可數名詞，請修改
第三、這一句中間需要一個連接詞或其他的連結方式
第四、第二個is應該是打錯字
6. However, the bad way is there are many people use the photo retouching to fabricate the false appearance.
use的動詞形式錯誤
fabricate後面接false appearance 這裡的意思很怪, 請修改
7. Finally, no matter what we like, we should have confidence by ourselves.
confidence的介系詞不是by
8. Because everyone is unique.
請把這一句跟上一句做連結，或者為這一句生出一個主要子句
9. And the camera never lies, right? “Nature is Beauty.” I think we should always keep that in mind.
Good ending!
Mum, sorry sir
回覆刪除I'm Cindy.
Cindy, 對不起...我居然把名字打錯了，現在才看到...><'' I'm so so so so so sorry...
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